What happened to my motivation?

I am soooooo completely ashamed to even be writing this post, but i need to get this out there so others who are on a journey think twice before slipping up! So, in the past 6 months, i have not kept ANY of my promises to myself! I have spun completely out of control! I have gone from 286Lbs, to 233Lbs, then started to  put the weight back on pound by pound! Today i weighed myself for the first time in over a month and LITERALLY almost cried, i am choking up just thinking about it! I am now again 265Lbs:(  That's just 21Lbs away from where i started in the first place!! Something needs to be done NOW!! If not im going to be RIGHT back to where i was when i started and then before i know it i will be over 300Lbs and unhappier than i ever was! From now on, there NEEDS to be some changes! The number one thing will HAVE to be no more TAKE OUT! I have eaten out more in the last two months than i have in the last year!! I am also quitting smoking, i know that may counter act my weight loss, but i want to be the healthiest me possible, i have a hard time walking up stairs, and i plan on joining gym again, will be hard to work out if i cant keep my breath! I NEED motivation because i have failed so many times in the past, so anything you con offer me in regards to support (stories of success, words of wisdom, encouraging words)would be much appreciated! Calling tomorrow to book an appointment to see Dr. Poon again, from now until then it will be a healthier diet to prepare me to get back on my journey that made me happier than i have been in a long time!! I need to get back there! So wish me luck and hopefully the next time i write i will have nothing bit wonderful news<3